Please Don’t Spell While Impared

11 August 2014

Today I was stuck in traffic on Interstate 25, the major north-south highway going right through Denver. I was in north Denver and passing a store just off the highway that caters to those who grow their own marijuana, now legal in Colorado, for the most part. Thousands of people pass this location every day, probably tens of thousands. I have seen their billboard ads, right above their shop and facing the highway, change over the last year or two. They started out rather non-committal, selling “organic gardening supplies.” They have become more clear about what they sell and what it’s used for in recent months.

What caught my eye today was the latest ad, a picture of a “buzzed” driver, and underneath the statement “Please don’t drive while impared.” To clarify, “impared” driving is a catchall term which covers driving while on drugs, drinking, or distracted (texting for example) in case that wasn’t clear. So this company that sells supplies to grow your own is asking that you don’t smoke what you’ve grown, and then drive.  A noble effort, all well and good. But what should be attempted while “impared”? Ordering pizza seems safe. And playing video games. Certainly not driving, or spelling.

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2 Responses to “Please Don’t Spell While Impared”


  1. lol I saw the same billboard and called them to tell them it was spelled wrong. Their response?

    “Well, you aren’t the one we were trying to reach with it, obviously. Only those dumb enough to think it was spelled right should be paying attention to it”

    I couldn’t think of an argument for that line!


  2. […] Once Walmart takes the plunge, who will be next on the list of corporate drug dealers? I have a personal request, and judging from recent earnings reports for this company, they might be amenable to my suggestion. McDonalds, listen up- you need to create a special meal for Colorado- it will be called the “Really Happy Meal.”  Do you see where I’m going with this? Instead of a toy, there will be a dime bag. Or maybe there could be a whole menu of recreational additives- a gram, a quarter ounce, even just one little joint to get you home after you eat your burger and fries. But remember kids, don’t drive while impared. […]


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